My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
