He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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