that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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