Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
