Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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