why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
