umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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