I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
