A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
