I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
