Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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