i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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