So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
