okay pat passed out under dana's car
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
