i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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