would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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