I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
