I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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