Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
