your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
