i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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