my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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