You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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