So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
