i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
