her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
