I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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