**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
