i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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