that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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