they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
