I'm drive I can fine osifer
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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