I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
