so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
