What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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