Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
