he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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