were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
