I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
