god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
