You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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