are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
