I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
