Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
