I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Two words: nipple clamps
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