I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
