dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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