Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
