The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
