just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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